Hi! I'm Vashon Borich-Leach (aka The T.U.F.F. Momma). I'm a polymath who enjoys sharing my experience as a digital entrepreneur, karate instructor, gourmet salt and pallet wood crafter, business coach, public speaker, author and animal lover. I live in Southern Missouri with my two sons, Ty and Jack, along with several animals that adopted me including my dangerously handsome husband, Ron. I hope to inspire you to be Tough, Unstoppable, Fearless and Free! (T.U.F.F.) Thank you for reading my blog posts!

There are two types of visitors to a martial arts school. One is as a new potential student who is considering signing up to train in the arts. Another, is a current martial artist who is perhaps traveling and is interested in training or attending a workshop at another school. In this blog post I will discuss best practices and etiquette in both instances.

Etiquette for visiting as a potential new student

If you are considering starting training in the martial arts, you need to know a few things to set a good first impression with the instructor.

First of all, do your research. Decide what style of martial arts most interests you. There are many different types that generally focus or specialize in a specific style of fighting and self defense. Some of the more popular styles are…

  • Karate – these systems end in “Ryu” and originated in Okinawa, Japan. Karate means “empty hand” in Japanese. It uses kicks, strikes, joint locks, throws and grappling techniques. Their place of training is called a “dojo.” Look for this flag at the front of their dojo. 🇯🇵 Other Japanese-based arts include Judo, Aikido, Iaido, Kendo and Kobudo.
  • Taekwondo – this martial art originally hails from Korea. Known for dynamic high kicks and strikes. Taekwondo literally means “foot hand art” in Korean. Their place of training is called a “Dojang.” Look for this flag in their dojang. 🇰🇷
  • Kung Fu (Gongfu or Wushu) – this family of martial arts originated from China. Known for its circular and fluid fighting styles that mimic the attacks of animals. Kung Fu literally means “Martial Technique.” There are many different styles, each with their own emphasis on techniques. The building where you practice Kung Fu is called a “Kwoon” and this is the Chinese flag. 🇨🇳 Two other Chinese arts that are popular are Tai Chi and Baguazhang.
  • Jiu-jitsu – most popular is Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) although originally hailed from Japan as jujutsu or jujitsu. The Brazilian family, the Gracies, made this martial art extremely popular. Known for its ground fighting and grappling techniques. Look for the Brazilian flag 🇧🇷 for most BJJ schools.
  • Muay Thai – often called Thai Boxing. This martial art is known for its powerful kicks and clinching techniques. It is a combat sport that hails from Thailand. Look for the Thailand flag in many schools. 🇹🇭
  • Mixed Martial Arts – often called MMA for short. This martial art is a mix of karate, boxing, jiu-jitsu, kickboxing and wrestling. It is an extreme combat sport often recognized by an octagon cage.

Of course this is just a short list of some of the more popular martial arts. There are many more arts than this! Do your research to determine the best style for you.

Now back to etiquette when visiting a martial arts school.

1. Always call first and schedule an appointment to watch a class. Some schools have a particular beginner classes that they prefer new students watch. Sometimes advanced classes are not permitted to be watched. Although most schools allow “walk ins” to watch a class, in most cases it is disrespectful. It takes away from the instructors class time, causes undo stress for all and the class you walked into may be a rank test or special class that doesn’t reflect what a typical class is like. Please call ahead!

2. Be on time! When you schedule an appointment to watch a class, being late is disruptive and disrespectful. Plan to arrive 5 to 10 minutes before class begins. This will give the instructor time to meet you and sets a good example. If for some reason you cannot make your appointment, call or text ahead of time. It’s polite!

3. When you arrive, remove your shoes immediately upon stepping into the building. In most martial arts schools, students practice barefoot. Nothing is as disrespectful as stepping onto the training floor with shoes on as it can mar the flooring, tracks in contaminants and brings in dirt. The simple act of removing your shoes gives you instant clout with the instructor as being someone they want to teach.

4. Watch politely without interrupting or making comments. Have a notepad or use your smartphones notes app to write down any questions you might have. Usually, the instructor will have some time after the class where you can get your questions answered.

5. Make time to stay for the whole class. It is disruptive to leave in the middle. The only exceptions are if a. You told the instructor ahead of time that you could only stay for a certain period of time. b. You immediately realize this is not the martial arts school for you. I.e. something outrageous happens or the instructor asks you to leave.

6. Thank the instructor for allowing you to watch a class. Collect any information you need to make a decision and politely leave. You are not required to sign up immediately. In fact, I’d be extremely leery of any martial arts school that begins pressuring you to sign up right away. I’d run away and never come back if they say something like, “if you sign up today you’ll get a discount or special deal.” A good school won’t ever use forced sales tactics to get you to sign up. Rather, a good school will feel like family and it’s people will feel like friends. If you don’t get that feeling, keep looking.

Etiquette for visiting as an experienced martial artist to train for a day or more

Let’s say you are a visiting black belt or current martial arts student. Perhaps you are on vacation or traveling for business. If you are wanting to train or attend a martial arts seminar at another school there is some etiquette that you should follow that will help you to make a good impression.

Here is what to do when planning a visit to other martial arts schools.

1. Always ask permission ahead of time. This means two things. A. Talk to your own instructor first. Make sure it is ok. Some martial arts instructors may find it disrespectful to train with someone else, even while on vacation. Also, your instructor may be able to give you a recommendation or personal introduction to train with someone they know and respect. B. Once you get your own instructor’s blessing, then it’s polite to contact the head instructor at the school you wish to train in for permission and class times.

2. Once there to train, show respect for all those in the dojo, especially the instructor. Bow politely, if that is customary in the style. Introduce yourself. Follow their rules. Remember, you are a guest in their “house.” It is also important for you to be on time for the class. “On time” means being there a minimum of 15 minutes before class starts.

3. Don’t try to prove anything. Do not come in with a big ego. Don’t talk about yourself, your school or your vast experience. If they ask questions, answer them politely with humility. Remain brief in your response. Do not try to demonstrate “how good you are.” Rather, look for the good in others.

4. Have a “beginner’s mind” seeking to learn something. Unless there was an agreement with your instructor and the head instructor of the school to teach something to their students, DO NOT teach, demonstrate or instruct ANYONE. Your purpose there is to train, improve and learn something. You can always learn something. Even from a beginner.

5. Never request to spar or grapple. This goes back to number three above. Requesting to spar or grapple is a sign that you have something to prove. If sparring or grappling happens to be going on that day and the head instructor invites you to participate, then, and only then, is it okay.

Do not volunteer to go first. Ask the instructor if you can watch a match or two before you commit to a match. In this way, you can observe the accepted level of power and strength used in their matches. Your goal is to meet their power and strength, not try overpowering anyone.

Nothing says amateur more than a guest coming in with fists flying, bone crushing kicks and rough take downs. You aren’t there to prove anything. You should be there to learn. It’s okay to go a little softer than you normally would in your home school. It’s also okay to take a loss that you normally wouldn’t take in order to show honor to the school you are visiting. It’s NOT okay to injure or humiliate others with your skills.

It’s also not okay for the opponent(s) at the school you are visiting to try to pummel you as a show of strength and ego. This is why you want to watch a match or two before you agree to spar or grapple. If you sense they are trying to prove themselves because you are there watching, then perhaps it would be better to request that you just watch while you are there. However, if you cannot avoid a match, then fight with the same strength that your opponent throws at you. Let their pace determine yours.

After a match, look for something that your opponent did well. Compliment them in public (if possible) so that others can hear. This honors them and creates good rapport with you at that school. If you see something that someone really does well ask if they could assist you in improving that in your own technique. (With the instructors approval, of course.)

6. Offer to pay for the class, don’t expect a free visit. I don’t know why, but some visiting black belts seem to think that they shouldn’t have to pay anything if they are just training and aren’t taking classes from the instructor. This is presumptuous. Always offer to pay. The instructor has a building to pay for each month and other expenses. Just because you might plan to work out alone in a corner doesn’t mean they should let you occupy their real estate for free. If they do say, “no charge” then pay them back in some other way. Examples: Stick around and help clean the mats or sweep up, offer to take them out for a coffee or tea or on the way out the door, hand them a gift card for a local coffeehouse or restaurant. (A $20 or $30 is nice and not over the top.)

7. Have fun and thank everyone for allowing you to train with them. Keep a positive attitude while you are training. Smile! Thank the instructors and especially the head instructor for allowing you to train with them. They didn’t have to allow you to train with them. Showing appreciation will create good will and possibly permit you other opportunities to train there again. There is also the possibility that they know others in the martial arts industry and can connect you with them when you are looking for another training facility on other trips.

Training with others is a wonderful way to grow the martial arts community and good will. However, you must do it for the right reasons. If you are there to train and show a respectful attitude, then great! If you are there to prove something, like how good you can fight, then you will get a bad reputation. The martial arts community is fairly tight knit group. Word gets around quickly. Disrespectful individuals don’t get very far for very long. Those who follow this list of martial arts etiquette may find that doors open to them that they never thought possible.

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